I eventually had a bath about 6pm yesterday. Bill popped in as he was in the area. Once I had a bath I just had this urge to dress up and in another 20 minutes I was all dressed up and ready to roll.
My friend who invited me to the party is becoming a funny character. I tried his phone and it was switched off. So I sent a text and well bottom line is I didn’t go to his party which was good anyway as that is not really my scene but I just wanted to go out since I was dressed up. Then I returned a call from Kene as I was really in the mood to roll. He happened to be going out later at about 8.30, that would work.
So Bill came, I rushed dinner. He wanted to borrow my Troy DVD as I had told him that it had an extra CD that had a documentary on Greek mythology, describing the main Greek gods and a bit on their roles in the Trojan war. I love stuff like that so I went back upstairs to get him the DVD. On my way back down en route the living room upstairs I bumped into Dad, he just got back a few days ago. He's been with his wife in London for almost 2 months so I have been home alone. Anyway he hands me a duty free bag, with the usual, perfume. I get a lot of comments that I smell good, people tend to ask me what I am wearing, someone once said that every time I leave her office there’s just a long lingering sweet smell. Well it's courtesy of my Dad o. I don't think I ever run out or have to ever buy any perfume if I don't want to. He always comes back with a bottle. Courtesy of him I have worn perfumes I probably wouldn't have bought myself. My dad does have taste when it comes to stuff like that. I have been wearing 'Fancy' by Jessica Simpson and it's got such a sweeeeet smell, but this I think is more sophisticated. It's Eau de Parfum which is stronger than Eau de Toilette; ‘Absolutely Irresistible' by Givenchy. It has such a classy smell not my usual sweet, fruity stuff which is what I get when I have to request or buy perfume myself. My dear I love my Dad o, not because of times like this but because he takes care of me. I am not a child anymore but when you say someone is caring, that is my dad. He has his issues o and I won't even begin to go there but my dad will always ensure you always have a comfortable life. I say this because I speak to other people and I know what their fathers’ do and do not do for them. Getting money out of him is like squeezing blood out of stone. But he will give you a comfortable roof over your head, he will give you food, he will give you transport, he will make sure you are well dressed and that you are in good health. He does not joke with any of these areas... but 10 kobo you will not get from him. That's just his style.
Sometimes I actually wonder whether or not I have not been spoilt. I have been financially independent since I was 21. All the while in uni I never lived at home because I always schooled outside of London which was where we lived. When I left uni I moved out of home for while and then I moved back home. But when I moved back to Nigeria 7 years ago, I moved in with my Dad and I really don't think I can afford the level of comfort my dad provides me elsewhere especially with regards to security in this Lagos. I can count how many times I have slept outside my home. It's too much of a struggle. I have people come over all the time but to go over and sleep over is tough o.
Been planning to move to Abuja but I will just be moving to my dad's house there. Gosh, my dad has provided for his children, that is one thing no one can take away from him. I will never forget when I first moved back to Nigeria and needed some money and asked my dad to lend me 100k and he looked at me and asked me where he would get the money from…tee hee hee. My dad is something else. Both my parents are such frugal people. They just raised us to realise that money is to be worked for. In my house you borrow money and you pay back, you are not given money but you are given food, shelter, transport and clothing...
I met a guy a few days ago who said that his daughter cannot be 30 and live with him, in fact he went on to say that any woman who is unmarried and 30 has failed....I chuckled. I chuckled because over time I have realised that life is not so black and white, there are grey areas. I know my dad is seriously praying that a good man will come and marry me but I know he is happier that I am here while I am unmarried than out living on my own. Rest assured, I shall be here till I decide I want to leave or I marry. I am like my parents; I do not spend unnecessary money. Paying for rent that is not necessary. I am not under lock and key and my folks are more than enlightened so they do not cramp my style in anyway. Anything I cannot do when they are here, I don't want to be doing anyway.
Anyway we ended up at a show, some guy called ‘Jaiye’ playing an electric guitar with his band. It wasn’t bad at all. I had one shot of Baileys Irish cream for the road, funny that the last time I had that it was with the same person. Night ended on a good high note. Kene’s car has been in the workshop for a month now so I dropped him off at home. His sister comes out to open the gate just as we are outside. Really funny cos me and her supposed to be going out later this afternoon. Yep, I met his sister through him and we became friends so we hang out every now and then. So she’s kinda surprised to see me as we have planned to see the next day i.e. today and I tell her I came to drop her brother off. I can imagine what she’s thinking…
Ok enough said, I need to do at least 45 minutes on this elliptical today before I go out, not sure what to do as per where I will be going this afternoon with ken’s sister and her friend, I think we will just go to some lounge. Ok I need to get dressed.
Life is stranger than fiction and I will tell you why soon…
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Rain, Rain Go Away...
It’s raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring...
I was woken up by a phone call this morning. A new friend called me. I met him last week when I broke the USB for my internet connection. He was referred to me by another friend I had made at the Starcomms office the week before.
Everywhere I find myself I try to make friends because the people you know often make life easier, especially in Nigeria. I cannot imagine what my day at Starcomms would have been like if I didn't know anyone there. If there is one thing I don't like doing, it is waiting. I can be very impatient. I don’t like to wait on queues especially when they are a result of a poor system. Anyway, I ended up not waiting and they fixed my usb in a few minutes for free. All this is because I made a friend the week before when I went to buy the usb. And as I left there I was making another friend with the guy who helped me fix it. I gave him my card and number and I took his number. He gladly told me to come and have it fixed anytime I had a problem.
Well, this week, I had a problem again when I paid for the internet subscription,so I called him again and I also called my previous contact there. They were both very helpful and the matter was resolved. Since then we have been talking quite a bit on the phone. So far, I think he is a smart guy and I don’t meet a lot of people who are versed in different subject matters, so that has really intrigued me and kept the conversations going. The other day he gave me an interesting analogy on how sometimes we need to look beyond the goal and focus on the process. I.e. often the process builds character and there are lessons learnt in the actual journey. For example if one focused on money without focusing on the means to make the money, you will find that character will not be built and the person does not really learn much because they never appreciated the process of achieving a goal. Anyway, I have thought about what he said and it did make a lot of sense to me so I am saving that piece of insight and pondering on it.
Yesterday I went to see my former colleagues in my 2 last jobs. I went to both offices. I needed to use a printer for a proposal I was submitting yesterday so I was able to get it printed and generally just chit chat with my friends at the same time.
I ended hanging out with my buddy, same one from last Friday, he was a former colleague from my previous job. We tried to see a movie but there wasn't anything good out there and the good stuff we had seen already. Also the timing was a bit late for me as the next movies were like 10pm,so I just chilled with him. We ended up going to a supermarket and buying bread, butter, crisp, mayonaise and ribena and just ate it at his house. He said he had tasted some bread and mayonaise in the morning and had been craving it ever since. The butter was for me I wasn't with him on the mayo thing. Not bad for a Friday night I guess.
We talked about different things, life, love, work etc. I have this belief that people who are very good in one area of their life often lack in the other. Let me explain. We were talking about star performers at work and colleagues that are really good at their jobs. I believe that apart form the passion you exhibit at work, the time you dedicate to your job determines what is important to you and if you are spending 12- 18 hours at work everyday then it seems like that is your focus and other areas of your life will suffer.
For example, I have a fantastic doctor; I have never met anyone like him before. In fact at one point I started thinking wow this guy is not bad at all. He may be in his 50s I guess. He is divorced with children. Every time I have a consultation he has something extra to offer me. Sometimes counselling, sometimes something he printed off the internet. He really takes time to explain things to me and answer all my questions. After the consultation he sees me off downstairs. And no it's not special treatment for me. He gives out his personal phone number to his clients so his phone is buzzing with their calls. In my opinion he is a wonderful doctor. I interpret his behaviour on the job to one of a very caring doctor. It makes me think of him as a very caring person too but am I right?
One day I asked him a direct question about getting back together with his wife because he said they maintained a cordial relationship. He replied that they couldn’t ever get back together because the reason why they split up is still there...work. In fact my guess is that he was a lousy husband. I put myself in his wife's shoes and realised that if I were married to him, I’d hardly see him, he's always be at work, when he wasn't at work his phone would be always buzzing with patient calls. He loves his work a lot and he is at what he does. In fact it would be very easy to misinterpret his work behaviour as who he was as a person. To his patients he is loving and caring but to his wife he was the opposite. What I am trying to say is sometimes I think when it’s great on one side then on another side it’s not so great. Passion doing something is one thing but time spent doing that thing is another. The place we invest our time is really where the heart and mind is. And we can’t be in more than one place at the same time so if we are at work till late most of the time then we cannot be with friends or family at the same time, unless you work for Google perhaps. I have fancied a guy who was great at work, he worked long hours and spent 7 days a week working but he was so detached with his emotions outside work. But if you judged him based on his behaviour at work, he was a great guy, but that was were his loving and feeling behaviour ended…at work. Passion at work is a wonderful thing,don't misunderstand me but long hours invested at work is a sure sign of other areas lacking in attention given. So what do you spend most of your time doing?
Today, I am not sure what I am doing. I am supposed to meet with a friend of mine to discuss some training we want to organise before the year runs out. My yesterday’s meeting with the client’s client didn’t go so great, it appears that they have outsourced the team building component of the conference to an American firm. So it appears that the work I was supposed to do is being handled by another firm and they just want me to help organise the people and logistics and materials required for the workshops. Hmmm, I will have to pass because that is not what I do, besides they can get someone in their team to do that for them and not have to pay them a dime. Unless they tell me something different from what I heard at yesterday’s meeting, it appears there isn’t really much for me to do anymore. So well, I guess yesterday’s proposal is what I will be praying about now…
It’s stopped raining. O yes, I remember I was invited to a party at 4pm today. Hmmm it supposed to be some ceremony of some sort of some big shot person but those kind of parties are really not my thing. I am not sure I will go, I rather just stay in good company and gist or even laze around.
I was woken up by a phone call this morning. A new friend called me. I met him last week when I broke the USB for my internet connection. He was referred to me by another friend I had made at the Starcomms office the week before.
Everywhere I find myself I try to make friends because the people you know often make life easier, especially in Nigeria. I cannot imagine what my day at Starcomms would have been like if I didn't know anyone there. If there is one thing I don't like doing, it is waiting. I can be very impatient. I don’t like to wait on queues especially when they are a result of a poor system. Anyway, I ended up not waiting and they fixed my usb in a few minutes for free. All this is because I made a friend the week before when I went to buy the usb. And as I left there I was making another friend with the guy who helped me fix it. I gave him my card and number and I took his number. He gladly told me to come and have it fixed anytime I had a problem.
Well, this week, I had a problem again when I paid for the internet subscription,so I called him again and I also called my previous contact there. They were both very helpful and the matter was resolved. Since then we have been talking quite a bit on the phone. So far, I think he is a smart guy and I don’t meet a lot of people who are versed in different subject matters, so that has really intrigued me and kept the conversations going. The other day he gave me an interesting analogy on how sometimes we need to look beyond the goal and focus on the process. I.e. often the process builds character and there are lessons learnt in the actual journey. For example if one focused on money without focusing on the means to make the money, you will find that character will not be built and the person does not really learn much because they never appreciated the process of achieving a goal. Anyway, I have thought about what he said and it did make a lot of sense to me so I am saving that piece of insight and pondering on it.
Yesterday I went to see my former colleagues in my 2 last jobs. I went to both offices. I needed to use a printer for a proposal I was submitting yesterday so I was able to get it printed and generally just chit chat with my friends at the same time.
I ended hanging out with my buddy, same one from last Friday, he was a former colleague from my previous job. We tried to see a movie but there wasn't anything good out there and the good stuff we had seen already. Also the timing was a bit late for me as the next movies were like 10pm,so I just chilled with him. We ended up going to a supermarket and buying bread, butter, crisp, mayonaise and ribena and just ate it at his house. He said he had tasted some bread and mayonaise in the morning and had been craving it ever since. The butter was for me I wasn't with him on the mayo thing. Not bad for a Friday night I guess.
We talked about different things, life, love, work etc. I have this belief that people who are very good in one area of their life often lack in the other. Let me explain. We were talking about star performers at work and colleagues that are really good at their jobs. I believe that apart form the passion you exhibit at work, the time you dedicate to your job determines what is important to you and if you are spending 12- 18 hours at work everyday then it seems like that is your focus and other areas of your life will suffer.
For example, I have a fantastic doctor; I have never met anyone like him before. In fact at one point I started thinking wow this guy is not bad at all. He may be in his 50s I guess. He is divorced with children. Every time I have a consultation he has something extra to offer me. Sometimes counselling, sometimes something he printed off the internet. He really takes time to explain things to me and answer all my questions. After the consultation he sees me off downstairs. And no it's not special treatment for me. He gives out his personal phone number to his clients so his phone is buzzing with their calls. In my opinion he is a wonderful doctor. I interpret his behaviour on the job to one of a very caring doctor. It makes me think of him as a very caring person too but am I right?
One day I asked him a direct question about getting back together with his wife because he said they maintained a cordial relationship. He replied that they couldn’t ever get back together because the reason why they split up is still there...work. In fact my guess is that he was a lousy husband. I put myself in his wife's shoes and realised that if I were married to him, I’d hardly see him, he's always be at work, when he wasn't at work his phone would be always buzzing with patient calls. He loves his work a lot and he is at what he does. In fact it would be very easy to misinterpret his work behaviour as who he was as a person. To his patients he is loving and caring but to his wife he was the opposite. What I am trying to say is sometimes I think when it’s great on one side then on another side it’s not so great. Passion doing something is one thing but time spent doing that thing is another. The place we invest our time is really where the heart and mind is. And we can’t be in more than one place at the same time so if we are at work till late most of the time then we cannot be with friends or family at the same time, unless you work for Google perhaps. I have fancied a guy who was great at work, he worked long hours and spent 7 days a week working but he was so detached with his emotions outside work. But if you judged him based on his behaviour at work, he was a great guy, but that was were his loving and feeling behaviour ended…at work. Passion at work is a wonderful thing,don't misunderstand me but long hours invested at work is a sure sign of other areas lacking in attention given. So what do you spend most of your time doing?
Today, I am not sure what I am doing. I am supposed to meet with a friend of mine to discuss some training we want to organise before the year runs out. My yesterday’s meeting with the client’s client didn’t go so great, it appears that they have outsourced the team building component of the conference to an American firm. So it appears that the work I was supposed to do is being handled by another firm and they just want me to help organise the people and logistics and materials required for the workshops. Hmmm, I will have to pass because that is not what I do, besides they can get someone in their team to do that for them and not have to pay them a dime. Unless they tell me something different from what I heard at yesterday’s meeting, it appears there isn’t really much for me to do anymore. So well, I guess yesterday’s proposal is what I will be praying about now…
It’s stopped raining. O yes, I remember I was invited to a party at 4pm today. Hmmm it supposed to be some ceremony of some sort of some big shot person but those kind of parties are really not my thing. I am not sure I will go, I rather just stay in good company and gist or even laze around.
Monday, September 7, 2009
GI Joe
This was the movie I ended up seeing with my friend last week. I hadn’t been to the movies on a Friday night for a long time, so I was shocked at the number of people there and the queue was long. I was asking myself why I hadn’t bought the tickets earlier since I had been waiting at Silverbird for a while.
And guess what, we got in a few minutes after the movie had started and we had to sit right at the front. Well, from experience of a few movies like X-men where I have sat at the front row, I know that after a few minutes your eyes kinda adjust to the screen and you stop realizing you are on the front row.
This movie comes highly recommended. I love action packed special effects type movies and this has a good plot and a lot of humour. For me it was good entertainment. The movie is really about an elite military group known as GI Joe saving the world I guess from bad guys who want to take control of the world. I also liked watching the different sub plots showing the history of the characters. It gave us an insight to their perspectives and histories which helped us understand their motives.
It explored emotional reactions to negative events. E.g how some people end up saying or doing nothing when something terrible happens to someone close to them. The usual excuse is that we don’t know what to say and then days pass and then months and we end up saying nothing and not contacting the affected person.
I have been on both ends of such matters. There was a time I lost a close enough uncle. I say close enough because I come from a very nuclear family. We have never really been brought up or been close with our extended families. I only ever knew one grandmother and that was my mother’s mum and although I have loads of cousins on both sides of my family, I can categorically say I was brought up knowing one set of cousins through out my life. Yes I had met a lot of my other cousins but we still are not close. The kids of the uncle who passed away are about the 2nd set of cousins I can say I know and had spent time with growing up. Although it’s always been off and on over the years. Anyway, they lost their dad, my uncle and it was a shock. I have this thing about attending burials especially once they are outside Lagos. I do not like to attend burials, worse so travel to attend them. To cut the long story short, I did not attend the burial, nor call my cousin’s about their loss. I felt the loss, We talked about it at home but I just kept asking myself what exactly would I say to them and one day led to several days and then months and time just flew and it didn’t happen, I never called. Then after a while I forgot about it.
Anyway, I think about a year later there was a tragedy in my family. Something happened that affected the family badly. For days I wasn’t picking up my phone and well somehow when the worst of it was over, I thought about every single person who called or sent a text. I remembered every single person that tried to make contact or sent a text about what happened… and I genuinely appreciated their concern. The whole occurrence made me see things differently. It gave me empathy. I was able to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, something I cannot say I am best at doing.
It made me realize no matter what the case is, even if you don’t know what to say or think the person would rather be alone during that period, it doesn’t cost you anything to call them and say ‘ I don’t know what to say’. I now see that it is important to call first and if they do not pick up the phone then send a text. But everyone I believe appreciates contact. Today I am convinced that the best way to express how much you care or your concern is to give them a call and some words of support. Saying nothing says just that…nothing! It also gives the impression that you do not care even when you actually do. This is one situation where the thought does not count.
O well, today, was just regular; I went to drop off receipted expenses at a client's office. Then I went to my last job to see my former colleagues. Then I came home and here I am.
I did 45 minutes on my elliptical today; I am thinking I will do it again first thing in the morning whenever I wake up. Tomorrow I plan to see a movie with Yemi, my friend who came in from America.
Oh yes before I forget a strange thing happened today. There was a guy I met a month ago. He was calling me during the time I was on vacation, with regards to some work he wanted me to do for him. Anyway, when I got back we arranged to meet to discuss his project. At the meeting I noticed he didn’t make eye contact and then left in a hush as he said he had another meeting. So I don’t hear from him for like 2 weeks and I send him a text to say hope all was well as he left in a hush. Well he calls back to say he was really busy and will get back to me.
O well, 2 days ago he calls me and asks if I am on messenger. Bottom line is we start chatting and he starts asking personal questions and I answer all. I am intrigued by this new found interest but I take it in good faith. He says he wants to get to know me better whereas all I am thinking is when can we discuss revenue generating business. Yesterday he calls again and then we chat and he wants to take me out for lunch. We end the conversation with no firm conclusion. Today he calls in the morning and then I go online and he is asking where we can do lunch today. Quite frankly I was a bit disappointed that the conversations had changed focus from business to I don’t know what. I am beginning to get suspicious so I tell him that my client’s have priority on week days as I see that his invitation is just for a chit chat on a Monday.
Then he starts to say that he has something to say to me, something he had been gathering his thoughts about. In a nutshell, he would like to have a closer relationship with me. Well I respond that I am flattered and then ask whether he was married and his response was yes. So I say I don’t date married men and that I hope he understands and he replies by saying he is trying to understand. He then responds that rather than lose out on me altogether he will want to spend time with me. Hmmmmmmmmm at this point I switch off.
My dear I have my own issues as it is and to think of juggling a married man and his family on my conscience is not what I want or need right now. The funny thing is that 2 days ago he thought I was married so I don’t know whether it was the revelation that I was single that prompted the come on or if it didn’t really matter. O well, I have told him I hope this does not affect our future business partnerships if any. The truth is, it was quite disappointing for me to be asked out by a married man. I mean it's a free world and people fancy other people but right now especially the way it all started out as a business opportunity is what is disappointing. The fact that potential revenues are lost due to a shift in focus of a potential client.
For the last 2 days I have been listening to love songs and I think I just want to bask in the euphoria of that kind of love and not think about the different types of emotional entanglements that exist. The ones that we choose and the ones that choose us.
Life is too short. Kenny Lattimore please sing for me!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Home again
I am back from Kaduna and I thank God. I do not think I will be travelling for a while as I do not have any planned trips.
I took the morning flight yesterday. It was delayed for 2 hours because of the bad weather. It rained, thundered and lightened. Got to Kaduna at about 1pm, found a decent enough hotel to stay in and checked out this morning. Finshed my class a little later than planned and dashed ot the airport just on time for the last flight back to Lagos.
So far, it feels good to be home. I was just gone for one night and I was missing my bed. I have issues o. Anyway, worked out for an hour on my new machine so I am happy about that.
Tomorrow is Monday and I have no solid plans. Isn't this weird? I will go and drop my expense receipts for today's work with the client.
A friend from America is in town so we could hook up. Actually I am thinking the movies. Hmmmm, that could work.
I took the morning flight yesterday. It was delayed for 2 hours because of the bad weather. It rained, thundered and lightened. Got to Kaduna at about 1pm, found a decent enough hotel to stay in and checked out this morning. Finshed my class a little later than planned and dashed ot the airport just on time for the last flight back to Lagos.
So far, it feels good to be home. I was just gone for one night and I was missing my bed. I have issues o. Anyway, worked out for an hour on my new machine so I am happy about that.
Tomorrow is Monday and I have no solid plans. Isn't this weird? I will go and drop my expense receipts for today's work with the client.
A friend from America is in town so we could hook up. Actually I am thinking the movies. Hmmmm, that could work.
For You...
Where do people think up lyrics like these? Gosh I was just listening to an album given to me like almost 10 years ago, one of those wedding CDs. Everytime I play this song I have to have it on repeat. I cannot get enough of it. If love can truly be like this wouldn't we all be in pure bliss?
For you- Kenny Lattimore
For you I’d give a lifetime of stability, anything you want of me, nothing is
impossible
For you there are no words or ways to show my love or all the thoughts
I'm thinking of
'Cause this life is no good alone since we've become one I've made a
change
Everything I do now makes sense, all roads end, all I do is for you
For you I share the cup of love that overflows and anyone who knows us
knows that I would change all faults I have
For you there is no low or high or in between of my heart that you
haven't seen
'Cause I share all I have and am, nothing I've said is hard to understand
And all I feel I feel deeper still and always will all this love is for you
Every note that I play, every word I might say, every melody I feel
Are only for you and your appeal
Every page that I write, everyday of my life would not be filled without
the things
That my love for you now brings
For you I'd make a promise of fidelity, now and for eternity
No one could replace this vow
For you I'd take your hand and heart and everything and add to them a
wedding ring
'Cause this life is no good alone, since we've become one you're all I know
And if this feeling should leave I'd die and here's why
All I am is for you
Everything I do now makes sense, all roads end and all I do...
Is for you
Only for you
For you- Kenny Lattimore
For you I’d give a lifetime of stability, anything you want of me, nothing is
impossible
For you there are no words or ways to show my love or all the thoughts
I'm thinking of
'Cause this life is no good alone since we've become one I've made a
change
Everything I do now makes sense, all roads end, all I do is for you
For you I share the cup of love that overflows and anyone who knows us
knows that I would change all faults I have
For you there is no low or high or in between of my heart that you
haven't seen
'Cause I share all I have and am, nothing I've said is hard to understand
And all I feel I feel deeper still and always will all this love is for you
Every note that I play, every word I might say, every melody I feel
Are only for you and your appeal
Every page that I write, everyday of my life would not be filled without
the things
That my love for you now brings
For you I'd make a promise of fidelity, now and for eternity
No one could replace this vow
For you I'd take your hand and heart and everything and add to them a
wedding ring
'Cause this life is no good alone, since we've become one you're all I know
And if this feeling should leave I'd die and here's why
All I am is for you
Everything I do now makes sense, all roads end and all I do...
Is for you
Only for you
I Choose Love
5 years ago, I found this poem in a forwarded email. It moved me so much that I printed it out and stuck it on my wall as a reminder. A reminder about everyday life and it's choices. A reminder that I can choose how I react to life's challenges.
Each Day I Choose - By Max Lucado
It's quiet. It's early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming.
In a few moments, the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.
For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose. And so I choose.
I CHOOSE LOVE…
No occasion justifies hatred;
no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love.
Today I will love God and what God loves.
I CHOOSE JOY…
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.
I will refuse the temptation to be cynical…
the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see
people as anything less than human beings,
created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as
anything less than an opportunity to see God.
I CHOOSE PEACE…
I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.
I CHOOSE PATIENCE…
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.
Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll
invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the
wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment
to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new
assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.
I CHOOSE KINDNESS…
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.
I will be kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to
the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.
I CHOOSE GOODNESS…
I will go without a dollar
before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked
before I will boast. I will confess before I will
accuse. I choose goodness.
I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS…
Today I will keep my promises.
My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates
will not question my word. My wife will not
question my love. And my children will never fear
that their father will not come home.
I CHOOSE GENTLENESS…
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise.
If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer.
If I make a demand, may it only be of myself.
I am a spiritual being…
After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.
I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal.
I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy.
I will be impassioned only by my faith.
I will be influenced only by God.
I will be taught only by Christ.
I choose self-control.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
To these I commit my day.
If I succeed, I will give thanks.
If I fail, I will seek His grace.
And then, when this day is done,
I will place my head on my pillow
and rest.
Max Lucado quote is from his book When God Whispers Your Name.
Each Day I Choose - By Max Lucado
It's quiet. It's early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming.
In a few moments, the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.
For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose. And so I choose.
I CHOOSE LOVE…
No occasion justifies hatred;
no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love.
Today I will love God and what God loves.
I CHOOSE JOY…
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.
I will refuse the temptation to be cynical…
the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see
people as anything less than human beings,
created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as
anything less than an opportunity to see God.
I CHOOSE PEACE…
I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.
I CHOOSE PATIENCE…
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.
Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll
invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the
wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment
to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new
assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.
I CHOOSE KINDNESS…
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.
I will be kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to
the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.
I CHOOSE GOODNESS…
I will go without a dollar
before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked
before I will boast. I will confess before I will
accuse. I choose goodness.
I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS…
Today I will keep my promises.
My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates
will not question my word. My wife will not
question my love. And my children will never fear
that their father will not come home.
I CHOOSE GENTLENESS…
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice, may it be only in praise.
If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer.
If I make a demand, may it only be of myself.
I am a spiritual being…
After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.
I refuse to let what will rot rule the eternal.
I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy.
I will be impassioned only by my faith.
I will be influenced only by God.
I will be taught only by Christ.
I choose self-control.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
To these I commit my day.
If I succeed, I will give thanks.
If I fail, I will seek His grace.
And then, when this day is done,
I will place my head on my pillow
and rest.
Max Lucado quote is from his book When God Whispers Your Name.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Ramblings...
I really don’t know why I have not been feeling this Kaduna trip. Today I finally went to buy the elliptical machine. So rest assured I have no excuse not to exercise anymore. I am happy that I can work on that aspect cos I have been wondering how to go about exercising again. I used to go in the mornings before work when I worked on the island. It made sense considering how early I had to go to work but in the last 4 months I have not done any exercise whatsoever unless u count the small roaming around I did when I was on holiday.
It is looking like I would have to leave tomorrow morning as there is only one flight to Kaduna and my session is at 8.30am in the morning. So I hope I can wrap it up by 11am to catch the 12 noon flight back to Lagos on Sunday. My dear what can I do o, I now work on Sundays.
Yesterday was good. I got a call from a potential client and we met about some work we may do together at the end of this month. Later at night I got another call from my first client who says he is ready now to proceed so I may actually meet my target revenue for this year, yay!
Friendship is a strange thing. I don’t know why some friendships come with so much drama. If for over months you have kept me out of your life and not wanted me part of it why send me a text telling me ‘ wanted to lay the groundwork, will send you invitation to my wedding. Hope you will come. Life is too short to be bitter. We might not be that close but I still consider you a friend. Take care my dear and have a nice weekend’. Sometimes in our bid to be polite I guess we do and say unnecessary things. If I don’t want to friends with you I definitely will not be inviting you to my wedding. I will not want to see any face that I haven’t wanted to see n the last 6 months. Bitter about what? Well, I cannot really say I understand half of it but I guess we learn as we go. Women and their wahala o. I congratulated her and told her I won’t be coming. The truth is that I didn’t see the point of the text. I don’t know how to pretend and that text as far as I am concerned was not a genuine invitation. I saved her the trouble. I go to weddings to rejoice with people not because I was invited because someone was being polite. I wish everyone well but I know that when people are doing the wrong thing they usually want to do it privately.
I am currently waiting at Silverbird for my friend. This was not planned but life is too short for sadness or misery. I would rather be spending the evening with someone more than a friend but I thank God for friends that I have. I just wonder what I would do without these friends of mine. So we are seeing a movie when he gets here. It gives me a chance to be in company that wants to be in my company. Also to save on diesel cos I am sure there will be no light when I get home. This light situation is really sad.
Anyway, it is well, what a week…
It is looking like I would have to leave tomorrow morning as there is only one flight to Kaduna and my session is at 8.30am in the morning. So I hope I can wrap it up by 11am to catch the 12 noon flight back to Lagos on Sunday. My dear what can I do o, I now work on Sundays.
Yesterday was good. I got a call from a potential client and we met about some work we may do together at the end of this month. Later at night I got another call from my first client who says he is ready now to proceed so I may actually meet my target revenue for this year, yay!
Friendship is a strange thing. I don’t know why some friendships come with so much drama. If for over months you have kept me out of your life and not wanted me part of it why send me a text telling me ‘ wanted to lay the groundwork, will send you invitation to my wedding. Hope you will come. Life is too short to be bitter. We might not be that close but I still consider you a friend. Take care my dear and have a nice weekend’. Sometimes in our bid to be polite I guess we do and say unnecessary things. If I don’t want to friends with you I definitely will not be inviting you to my wedding. I will not want to see any face that I haven’t wanted to see n the last 6 months. Bitter about what? Well, I cannot really say I understand half of it but I guess we learn as we go. Women and their wahala o. I congratulated her and told her I won’t be coming. The truth is that I didn’t see the point of the text. I don’t know how to pretend and that text as far as I am concerned was not a genuine invitation. I saved her the trouble. I go to weddings to rejoice with people not because I was invited because someone was being polite. I wish everyone well but I know that when people are doing the wrong thing they usually want to do it privately.
I am currently waiting at Silverbird for my friend. This was not planned but life is too short for sadness or misery. I would rather be spending the evening with someone more than a friend but I thank God for friends that I have. I just wonder what I would do without these friends of mine. So we are seeing a movie when he gets here. It gives me a chance to be in company that wants to be in my company. Also to save on diesel cos I am sure there will be no light when I get home. This light situation is really sad.
Anyway, it is well, what a week…
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Yesterday...
So yesterday was unpredictable. I got a request for a proposal to do some training for a bank and I got a call from the people I sent the proposal of 2 days ago to. Their client had called for a site visit and they wanted me to attend as a member of their team. Of course I know how these things work when you are being subcontracted by a contractor. You try very hard to make the whole transaction appear seamless so that you all appear as one team. So I attended as the team building expert. Anyway, I ended up with them till 8.30pm. What a long day?
I need to finish up some deliverables assigned to me from that meeting. When it comes to invoicing clients I am learning everyday. Never do any work for free. No one appreciates free work. Always collect an upfront fee or do not engage. The fee paid upfront shows the client's commitment to the project. Once they pay you, they are after you. If they do not pay you an upfront fee, you find out that you are the one doing the chasing.
My fees seem to need revision again. I think for every proposal I have written I have kept revising them. I guess it's part of learning.
The pipeline is looking good. I am in kaduna this weekend for some work. Somehow I just feel like relaxing for a change. I want a weekend to myself , where I do not have to go anywhere. Well I shouldn't complain as I have had week days to myself:-). Anyway, such is life. We want what we don't have.
I am still asking myself, why do people go to a job when they can earn a living without going to a particular place every morning. I am seeing work without a Plan B as a sophisticated form of slavery. If you are working as an apprentice then I guess it's fine cos you have to learn the trade before you launch out.
It's strange though as I feel I am missing something. A team. Yesterday, I was talking to my friend about what feels different about working now and I said it was that sense of belonging to a team. Right now it seems I am just doing things for myself and I kinda miss doing it for a team.
So it's now obvious that group inclusion is important to me, so the question is I guess I have to form my own team as opposed to joining someone else's?
Let me think about this one...
I need to finish up some deliverables assigned to me from that meeting. When it comes to invoicing clients I am learning everyday. Never do any work for free. No one appreciates free work. Always collect an upfront fee or do not engage. The fee paid upfront shows the client's commitment to the project. Once they pay you, they are after you. If they do not pay you an upfront fee, you find out that you are the one doing the chasing.
My fees seem to need revision again. I think for every proposal I have written I have kept revising them. I guess it's part of learning.
The pipeline is looking good. I am in kaduna this weekend for some work. Somehow I just feel like relaxing for a change. I want a weekend to myself , where I do not have to go anywhere. Well I shouldn't complain as I have had week days to myself:-). Anyway, such is life. We want what we don't have.
I am still asking myself, why do people go to a job when they can earn a living without going to a particular place every morning. I am seeing work without a Plan B as a sophisticated form of slavery. If you are working as an apprentice then I guess it's fine cos you have to learn the trade before you launch out.
It's strange though as I feel I am missing something. A team. Yesterday, I was talking to my friend about what feels different about working now and I said it was that sense of belonging to a team. Right now it seems I am just doing things for myself and I kinda miss doing it for a team.
So it's now obvious that group inclusion is important to me, so the question is I guess I have to form my own team as opposed to joining someone else's?
Let me think about this one...
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
And something did come up...
I keep saying the most exciting thing about everyday is not knowing what will happen that day. Half the things and people I saw yesterday where not what I had planned or envisaged.
On my way to the bank I got a call for a brief. I headed to the meeting and was told they required a proposal first thing this morning. So as it is I have not slept since yesterday. I worked till the early hours of the morning, set my alarm for 7 am but I couldn't sleep even for an hour for fear of not hearing the alarm. Sometimes these things happen when you are in deep sleep. I could not risk it.
So I sent of the proposal this morning and I have been home all day, awaiting feedback.
Today must be ex boyfriends' day. I had an interesting conversation with Kunle (university boyfriend) still on this subject of me and my work. I told him that I preferred being a free lancer than growing a business. In his own words he said he was disappointed as he he knew I could do better.
Now, what's with this better thing, is owning your own business the ultimate goal for all? Like I tried to explain, I just don't seem to have the zeal to run a firm. I have always preferred consulting for other businesses not running my own. I think I don't like being responsible for anyone but myself. That may be the real issue. Maybe the same reason why family life is scary:-)
Now I feel confused. When I say I want to be in governement I get weird looks. People think I am crazy, they wonder whether anyone can really aspire to be in such.
For me it's the thought of doing something for the masses. I guess I really need to sort this thing out o. Because no one wants to hear that I don't want to grow my firm.
I just feel like I should be somewhere else and where it is I really do not know. I know what I will do...I need partners to work with.
Anyway, My post University boyfriend found me on facebook today. It was interesting to speak to him, he doesn't seem to have changed much at all.
I really need to get back into exercising. I think this is the longest period that I have not exercised in years... and I can feel it.
Yesterday I also went to see my ex ex boss, not the last one but the one before. They were in a meeting, it just reminded me of all those meeting we used to have then. I really miss them :(, the people not the meeting, well a little bit of both
That was one place that really entered the depths of my soul, so much love... I don't know whether it was real or I imagined it but I am too emotionally attached to that firm. I need prayers. I just realised I may have an obsessive personality or is it addictive personality. I will justify it when I have investigated further.
On my way to the bank I got a call for a brief. I headed to the meeting and was told they required a proposal first thing this morning. So as it is I have not slept since yesterday. I worked till the early hours of the morning, set my alarm for 7 am but I couldn't sleep even for an hour for fear of not hearing the alarm. Sometimes these things happen when you are in deep sleep. I could not risk it.
So I sent of the proposal this morning and I have been home all day, awaiting feedback.
Today must be ex boyfriends' day. I had an interesting conversation with Kunle (university boyfriend) still on this subject of me and my work. I told him that I preferred being a free lancer than growing a business. In his own words he said he was disappointed as he he knew I could do better.
Now, what's with this better thing, is owning your own business the ultimate goal for all? Like I tried to explain, I just don't seem to have the zeal to run a firm. I have always preferred consulting for other businesses not running my own. I think I don't like being responsible for anyone but myself. That may be the real issue. Maybe the same reason why family life is scary:-)
Now I feel confused. When I say I want to be in governement I get weird looks. People think I am crazy, they wonder whether anyone can really aspire to be in such.
For me it's the thought of doing something for the masses. I guess I really need to sort this thing out o. Because no one wants to hear that I don't want to grow my firm.
I just feel like I should be somewhere else and where it is I really do not know. I know what I will do...I need partners to work with.
Anyway, My post University boyfriend found me on facebook today. It was interesting to speak to him, he doesn't seem to have changed much at all.
I really need to get back into exercising. I think this is the longest period that I have not exercised in years... and I can feel it.
Yesterday I also went to see my ex ex boss, not the last one but the one before. They were in a meeting, it just reminded me of all those meeting we used to have then. I really miss them :(, the people not the meeting, well a little bit of both
That was one place that really entered the depths of my soul, so much love... I don't know whether it was real or I imagined it but I am too emotionally attached to that firm. I need prayers. I just realised I may have an obsessive personality or is it addictive personality. I will justify it when I have investigated further.
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