Man Proposes but God Disposes

The last few days have been somewhat low for me. I know I shouldn’t feel this way but I do although I know that things always happen for a reason.

This week was focussed on ensuring my application for the doctorate program was completed. I spent time writing a research proposal, getting my references and finalising all the requirements for the application.

Excited that all was finally ready, I sent it out by email, with every required document scanned and attached. I had dug out my old scanner and fixed it. I even scanned my signature for endorsement on the application form. The climax came when I pressed send. I saw a reply notification like 3 minutes after I sent the mail, so I decided to do other things as I figured it was just an acknowledgement email since it came so fast. When I finally got round to opening the message it read;

Dear Madam

I am afraid that due to exceptional demand, Aberdeen Business School have closed applications for DBA applicants for present. We can not confirm yet, when applicants will be able to reapply, but I am afraid that we cannot accept your application at present.

Research Degrees Office


Immediately a deep seated sadness overcame me. I wasn’t sure whether it was the right way to feel but somehow it wasn’t the response I was expecting. The response seemed so flippant and vague that I responded by asking them to give me specific timelines. I just felt I needed something more concrete as university admissions can be applied for future sessions, so I asked when the embargo would be lifted or whether it was an indefinite decision. The response I got was not positive. Again it appeared like they were neither here nor there. To be honest I was a little irritated that they weren’t able to give a more precise response. The final response which I received today read;

Dear Madam

I don't really think that there is much point in further discussions. ABS have stated that applications are currently closed and when they choose to re-open applications they will let us know. However, for the moment there is little point in applying if you don't know when your application will be considered by ABS.

Research Degrees Office

Hmmm, now I don’t even know how I feel anymore, quite disappointed and somewhat confused as to what to do next. I am wondering whether its not meant to be? The choice of school was really based on the fees. They are the only one I think I can mange to fund by myself the next available school charges double the fees and I really cannot afford that right now. Also the other schools have workshop that you must attend and I really need the flexibility of a distance learning program. The other school I applied to at the beginning of the year requested that I do a relevant masters first before embarking on their program. O gosh what do I do now? This just throws my plans off.

Hmmm, I do know things happen for a reason but I am still feeling down at this realisation. If ABS at least gave me a timeline of even next year I would at least know that delay is not denial. Anyway, Arrrrrrrrgh! God please help!!!