Blogging, it really didn't start today

It just occurred to me that I started blogging in year 2000. I had this website called 'my y2k joint'. I remember as the year hit year 2000. I promised I would revisit my writing so I wrote a number of short stories and blogs which I published online and I remember it was on a free website called xoom. com. For some strange reason they folded up yes the site vanished from the face of cyber world and there when my site and my writings. now the interesting thing is that I still have the stories in hard copy and still working on transferring them to soft copy to republish them. I think it would be a good read, to see how much or not I have changed in the least 9 years :-) time sure does fly.

I met a friend last year who asked me if I still blogged and the language seemed so foreign, I thought ‘blogged?’ He then turned to his friend and said, 'this lady started blogging even when people didn't know what blogging was’. I still didn’t get it then. I guess what I knew was that I had a website which I wrote stories on, most about my life and my thoughts on funny issues. I had funny titles like 'Ashewo na ashewo', 'the price of gari', 'journey to Alcatraz'. Gosh, you must be thinking what was I on then. I will post them again; one by one and you can have a good laugh yourself.

I have just always had this dream of being a writer. I don't think it was ever meant to be my primary profession but my first memories of writing is a children’s story I wrote and I must have been about 7 years old. I wrote the story and then I created the book myself with illustrations on the opposite pages. I can’t even remember what the story was about I just vaguely remember the illustrations were of a girl with spiky hair that resembled medusa. When I finished I remember folding it and stapling it into a booklet. Then I presented it to my dad who said he would have it published. I am still waiting till today.

My next real attempt came in secondary school where I started writing an autobiography in my 4th year. I lost that somehow and abandoned ship for a long time till the 'y2k joint project' after which I abandoned ship again, then I wrote 2 short stories the year after and the last attempt was in 2005 where I went through a phase and wrote several (4) articles which were professional based. Well so far this year, I have revised one of my articles and it will be published in the next coming weeks. Because I am an HR consultant, it's on 'Managing high tech employees'. My writing competes with other things which I also enjoy; my hr career, a constant quest for knowledge, consulting, imparting knowledge through training, seminars and workshops and making a difference. The ideal for me will to be successful in all the aforementioned areas.

Notorious without a Doubt...

Now it’s becoming crazy, as though this is a movie review blog or like I am some kind of film addict. I go through phases and this is just one of them. I can assure you I like the movies but I am in no way a movie buff. Now I know that does not explain how come I have managed to watch 4 movies at the cinema in the space of one week. I stress again this is a movie phase I am going through and I will explain today’s case at least. Today was unusual. It’s Kelechi’s wife’s birthday and he calls to ask if I would be interested in seeing a movie, I jump at the idea because I had not planned anything else. As it goes, he asks if I could go with his wife to the movies so that he can run his errands and meet up with us later for another movie. Yes, I ended up watching 2 movies; we went on to see the movie called ‘Doubt’. I really wanted to see it cos the preview looked like an all familiar plot of a catholic priest that likes small boys and the nun who is out to get him. Anyway, I won’t even go into the plot but there hasn’t been a crappier ending in a movie in a long long while.

After the movie, we decide what movie to see next as we wait for Kelechi, between us we had seen most of the movies so we are down to 2 movies; Notorious and Underworld. Now although the preview for Underworld said thriller, the image looked like horror and I will never intentionally watch a horror movie. My imagination is too creative and I have still not recovered from the days of 'The Exorcist' and I am not about to give my imagination anything more to play with to my detriment. So we agreed to wait till Kelechi arrived to break the tie. As soon as he arrived we presented our dilemma (well I was sure of what I wanted to see) and Kelechi’s view was straight up. He said ‘let’s go and see the movie with black people. You know I am all for black people.’ Without any hesitation we went ahead and bought tickets for Notorious. Now I had already asked what it was like from my sister and she said it was better than expected. So I had fair expectations. Now, it was a movie on the life of the notorious BIG, definitely one of the best rappers that ever graced the earth to some the ‘best’. It was funny in some bits but it was really a sad movie in the end as we all know Biggie is shot at the end. Arrrrrrrrgh! My sis told me that Lil’ Kim didn’t attend the premier because she didn’t like the way she was portrayed. I don’t blame her at all. Within the first 5 minutes of her appearance in the movie, let’s just say I wouldn’t have gone for the premier if I were her. Faith Evans on the other hand was presented as ‘Faithful Faye’. Angela Bassett stars as Biggie’s mum and as usual is typecast to act the hard black woman who has suffered in her life time, single parent trying to raise a kid by herself. I need to see Angela in a softer role. Those roles can only leave one so bitter.

The best part of the movie are all the songs, it really takes you down memory lane, reminded me alot of my Uni days and how we rocked to Biggie and 2pac simultaneously amidst their east coast, west coast war till we watched them both die. Trust yours truly lagosians we were singing the lyrics to the songs. It was nice to test those lyrical skills again. The guy did have a way with words. It was interesting to see the inspiration for the different songs and inspiring to see how dreams can become reality. It was a story but a very short one. How someone could live just 5 years in his career. It brought back memories of the feud between 2pac and Biggie and how it just seemed like a big joke that ended up bad. I heard some songs I didn’t think I would hear again the Lil’ Kim rap in the ‘get money’ track by Junior Mafia, did you ever think you’d hear that name again? Junior Mafia! It was fun listening to songs like Juicy, Sky is the limit, who shot ya, but I can’t remember hearing the songs ‘one more chance’ or ‘mo money, mo problems’. Puffy’s portrayal was funny. Now, I was reminded of how puffy always used to butt-in on the mic spoiling Biggie’s rhymes. We figured that since he was the producer they couldn’t tell him to back off. Even after the movie ended we stood watching the credits and listening to some more Biggie. It was a good movie. Better than the previous one without a doubt but it was also a sad movie to watch. To see a dream become reality and to watch it disappear in such a short time was painful. He was 24 when he died, what a waste of a life it seemed. But I choose to look at the bright side. What he did in his last 5 years a lot of people have not and will never achieve in their lifetime. I miss Biggie, he can’t be replaced , he really was in a league of his own. So that is the story of how I watched 2 movies back to back in one day. There’s always a first time.

Now, there are weird things that happen at the cinema in Nigeria and without a doubt it must be cultural. We talk at the movies. I don’t mean in hush tones, people actually talk and other people do not seem to mind. I mean this is not talk about the movie, this is talk unrelated to the movie. I went to the movies once and a couple behind me talked the entire time, they seemed to be settling an issue which they came to discuss at the movies of all places. I can’t forget cos it was my first and last time at the citymall cinema in Onikan, the place was freezing cold, uncomfortable and as if that wasn’t bad enough there was a power failure right in the middle of the movie. I cannot forget that day because it was Bat man, the dark knight. I couldn’t believe it when I found out how much cheaper it was to see a movie there, I guess I soon got to find out why. There were only 4 of us in the theatre and 2 of them were in an intense conversation and left somewhere in the middle of the movie.

Now I don’t mind commentary because I know I am guilty for that too but at least I am concentrating on the movie. Now the talking is quite bad. How bad? People pick up their phones at the movies in Lagos, and I mean they pick I up and have their conversations comfortably. I would send a text, I wouldn’t’ pick up my phone at the movies but in Lagos people do all the time. How bad is it? On one occasion, my phone being on silent, had the light flashing because someone was calling me. Now, because I was at the movies, I didn’t pick up; my plan was to wait for the phone to stop flashing then send a text or just return the call after the movies. Now there was a lady sitting next to me who had been on the phone having a conversation about a boy that just pissed her off, now her call ends and I guess she was bored and she sees from the flashing light that someone is trying to reach me, she nudges me and says to me ‘your phone is ringing, pick it up.’ Now remember we are at the movies. I was weak; I just said thanks to her and ignored the call.

The other thing we do well at the movies is give commentary. It’s like the kind of commentary you hear on DVDs when you play it with the commentary. Lagosians somehow think they are the movie producers. They exclaim loudly, they give applauses, they talk to the actors on the screen, advise them on what to do and decisions to make. We are just an unusual bunch. A lot of times it is funny stuff I can’t lie that it isn’t fun, but the talking loudly or answering your phone at the movies that is so wrong.

After the movies, I leave and meet up with Ugo who I haven’t seen in yonks. We catch up and talk about what I have been up to and how I have disappeared from his radar and how I should reappear.

I have to give this one to Biggie, for giving me the fond memories and lyrical blisses. And if the movie is anything to go by in terms of his last days on earth, I am convinced that he is in a better place. Any life that can be celebrated after death is truly a life that touched the souls of many.

May your BIG soul rest in Peace.

Confessions of a shopaholic

Ok, another chick flick. I was surprised to see a few men in the cinema.

I laughed in some parts but nothing really grabbed my attention about this movie. There was one bit I remembered that was a bit touchy... the wedding bit. For a split second I looked at the groom and he was smiling like a Cheshire cat or a Christmas goat as they say in this part of town. He seemed so happy and eager as the bride walked down the aisle. Now it looked all sweet and exciting but I have heard of men being very nervous on their wedding day. I was told once of a guy who was still telling his grooms men just before the ceremony commenced that he could still take off and disappear. The story was that he didn't love the girl and he was pressured because she got pregnant. My thoughts were in this day and age? Do men still marry women because they get pregnant. Is pregnancy a justification for a lifetime of misery?

Anyway, the interesting thing about today is that it is Ash Wednesday. the beginning of the Lenten season for Christians especially Catholics. I went to mass at 12 noon and I sang some of the hymns I really like.

Last night I had a really weird dream about some guy I went to university with. We never really spoke at school but I guess I have had all sorts of funny thoughts go through my head lately. Last I heard of him he worked for some big shot investment bank and was somewhere in London. I remember him to be a decent looking guy, well dressed and mannered but also quite a reserved fella and what women will refer to as a bit of a slacker. We never kept in touch, never have and all of a sudden he is in my dream, in the dream he has moved back to Nigeria and now runs his own real estate business. He still looks like I remember him in school. It was really weird. Anyway, when I remembered the dream at work sometime in the day, I googled him. My dear these days you can find out anything on goggle so I just thought I'd find out what he was up to and voila. The first results are of his wedding last year. Ok so he is married now, cased closed. Anyway, that’s not it, I spend time on his wedding site and just look around at how he may have changed still school days. He looked a lot of things but mainly happy and content. He had obviously progressed and become a good catch :-)

It's not coming to me today, so I'll end on this note; in all things, give thanks.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Please do not read if you do not want to know what happened in the movie:

I just saw this movie 'the curious case of Benjamin Button' last night and it really made me think. My sister had actually recommended it to me last week. When I texted her yesterday to tell her I was going to see it the following text dialogue occurred between us.

Me: Off to see curious case
Sister: Take your sleeping bag with you...
Me (at the ticket counter): Should I see seven pounds instead
Sister: No see curious case
Me (as soon as I had bought the ticket): Just got the ticket
Sister: Enjoy and don't snore too loud
Me(as I got seated in the cinema): Lying down ready to snooze

After the movie, as I got home I texted my sister (who lives in London by the way)
Me: I liked it, sad though
Sister: lol trust you to like it. Just saw notorious it was ok what you'll expect innit?
Me: Sad making me reflective, life is too short
Sister: Really? Well what can you do?

The story in a nutshell is about Benjamin, whose mother dies at his birth. He is abandoned on the same night by his father because he looks abnormal. He is raised by a black woman who is the care taker of an old people's home. Benjamin we discover has a condition which makes him age backwards. So he was born in his 80s and we watch him grown younger and younger throughout the movie. The movie revolves around Benjamin and various relationships with different people coming and going into and out of his life.

When I got home, I googled the movie and read the reviews. While most people agreed it was a good movie overall, majority felt it dragged at the middle with the beginning and the ending being the best bits. I guess that's what my sister was referring to when she said 'take your sleeping bag'. But I didn't find it boring at all. I watched intriguingly all through until I felt myself going up and down with emotion.

Now I am a romantic at heart, I love to see people in love, there is nothing in the world that gives me more joy than seeing two people, a man and a woman displaying affection. no matter the mood i am in the image of two people being happy together always puts a smile on my face and immense joy in my heart 'cause the feeling I get is overwhelming, one I cannot put in words.

Anyway, I felt joy in my heart in the scenes when the leading man (Brad Pitt) and leading lady (Cate Blanchett) finally become a couple and moved into their own home. For all those happy scenes of a couple in love and all the laughter that filled those happy scenes, I felt my heart overrun with joy and the loveliest of feelings. But my joy did not last long. Within minutes I was in tears. All the joy turned to sorrow and loss as our leading man Benjamin decides it makes more sense leaving his wife and one year old daughter rather than have his wife raise 2 kids (him being 1 of the children given his rare condition) or worse still to have his daughter growing up with a playmate instead of a father. For the rest of the movie, we watch Benjamin become a shadow of the character we have grown to love, he slowly dwindles back into time. We watch him develop backwards into his 20s, then to becoming a troubled teenager and child and till his death as a baby. I just wept for the last half hour of the movie. It's an unusual story I know but there's a lot to learn.

To me it's a story about a lot of things. Love, friendship, fear, acceptance, self pity, pride, youthful exuberance, kindness, fate, faith, laughter, sorrow, loss, beauty, vanity, hope and lastly but nowhere least…A story about Time. An invaluable resource that depletes by the second.

I have been thinking about this movie since last night. Even through my sleep and when I got up this morning, I have been thinking about it. I have been thinking that life is too short. And time keeps on ticking regardless of how you decide to live your life. Not like I haven't always known this but sometimes certain occurrences push the reality in your face.

Now whether you are aging normally or backwards like Benjamin it really didn’t make a difference. Time still ticked on. There were times Benjamin probably wished he could hold the hands of time but he couldn't and for that reason he made a decision to leave his family. I could hear a lady behind me saying 'that's selfish', but sometimes we all make decisions which we think are the best for everyone especially ourselves. So from my perspective life is too short, so let's do what we need to do now! Procrastination only postpones the D-DAY and the sad thing about time is you only ever get one chance at it. Yesterday is gone and by tomorrow today will be gone too. Every day we have one less day to live and one less day to do all we wanted to do. Even looking at it from the bright side today can be the first day of the rest of your life but the days before are gone already.

It’s also a story about acceptance and love. This thing called love I have found to be a universal language. Be it romantic love or whatever kind of love you want to call it, it still feels great. Now I know that there is nothing that feels better than when you are accepted whole heartedly as you are without any requirement to change who or what you are. That feeling is awesome. I felt it for Benjamin in the movie several times whenever he met someone who accepted him as he was. Although acceptance begins with one's self but even after you have accepted yourself it is still not complete. But when you find acceptance with other people or better still a special person it is a wonderful feeling. I felt the love between the couple (Benjamin and Daisy) over time and years that passsed between them. I even felt the love between him and the eloquent rich lady he had an affair with at the hotel. It just proved the same thing; that we are all seeking the same things at the end of the day... someone to love us as we are. The lady, though rich and cultured was no different from anyone of us. Just another lonely heart, seeking love, seeking acceptance. To love and be loved is indeed the most special place to be in. Some people are indeed special. There are some people you just love forever. They come into your life and you just love them without reason. God help us.

It’s also a story of idolatry, how we love things so much and cannot think of life without those things until they are taken away from us. Sometimes it's a person, a job, a career, for women even our hair, skin, shoes or bags. We hold so much value to them that they become nothing short of a god to us because of the amount of time we dedicate and invest in these things. The way we spend our time and thoughts show us who our gods are. The leading lady Daisy was a beautiful dancer. Her whole life revolved around dancing, rehearsals, shows till she had an accident injuring her legs, then she felt it was all over. Had her invested time or attitude towards dancing been different, her recovery would have been quicker without a doubt but instead it took her years to get back herself. Her body and dancing was her whole life and when it went, she wanted to die with it. I can see this happening around me all the time when we idolise things/people. I have had my share of experiences; once with a car I loved so much I used to talk to it :). Yes it sounds so crazy but I loved it that much. I used to park it in a side street by the station and as I returned back from work every day, as soon as I caught a glimpse of it, I used to talk to it, ask it how it was doing and smile like I had just been whisked to the love zone. I loved it. I really loved that car. Till one day it was gone. I had an accident on the motor way and the car was written off. I was in so much shock, I just took the train home and left the car right there on the motor way. I never saw it again. I didn't drive for over 6 months and when I finally replaced it with another car; I couldn't care less about the new car. My love affair with cars was over. The strange thing is that ever since that accident my driving has never been the same. But what's the lesson here, shockers (accidents, losses,tragedies) in my experience happen for a reason, sometimes I think just to shake us up a little bit and give us a reality check.

I also saw in the movie how one man's monster can be another man or woman's gift. I saw a proud father who had a name and image to preserve. He could not imagine having what he may have deemed as a monster for a child. Yet this same abandoned abnormal looking baby was taken into care by a woman who had been praying for the fruit of the womb. In her eyes it was a special baby. If she didn't face peculiar circumstances perhaps she wouldn't have kept the baby. It’s amazing how peculiar circumstances in our lives make us very sensitive to certain issues. Had we not experienced something first hand our empathy and sentiments would have been at bay. On the other hand, pride and image can be a terrible thing and the very thing guiding our decision making. Decisions based solely on perception of others and our self image. Selfish indeed.

I know a lot of people will be thinking it's just a movie, it's so unreal, I mean I heard people laughing at all the scenes I was sad at ... but in my life I have found reality to be far far stranger than fiction and that art often imitates life and not the other way round.

I guess I love this movie so much because there were so many things to learn from it. I can tell you so much more but I think I have said more than enough. I don't know why this movie touched me in this way because there are other good movies but it's a wonderful thing to have happened to me. Life is way too short and if the movie could propel me to writing it is indeed a wonderful thing because I have always loved to write but can't seem to find the drive to actually do it as often as I would love to, now here and now I am just hoping I will keep up this blog site and write whatever I feel like.

Because the main thing that hit me about this movie is TIME. I will end on this note.

'May the rest of your life, be the best of your life'.