Gosh, This is so me.............

Name: Adaora

Origin: African

Sex: Female

Unisex Name? No

Meaning: First daughter of the people (Igbo, Nigeria).

Soul Urge: People with the name Adaora have a deep inner desire to serve humanity and to give to others by sharing money, knowledge and experience, or creative and artistic ability.
Expression: People with the name Adaora tend to be a powerful force to all whose lives they touch. They are capable, charismatic leaders who often undertake large endeavors with great success. They value truth, justice, and discipline, and may be quick-tempered with those who do not. If they fail to develop their potential, they may become impractical and rigid.

Sylables: 4

Variants: Adaoha, Adora

# of Characters: 6

First Consonant: D

First Vowel: A

Rating: *****

For the little things...

I just want to cease this opportunity to thank God for the little things. I may not remember all the wonders that operate in my small life but I want to acknowledge him for the little things. Last week my laptop started acting up. It’s 3 years old and I haven’t really used it in over a year. I usually have a work laptop so I just used it as back up. I noticed it’s been slow and it was suggested it has a memory issue. But I have been hanging on believing that when I finally get to go on my holiday, I will buy a new one for half the price. So I had been keeping my fingers crossed on it, praying knowing fully well it’s on its last legs.

Then as if the enemy was near by, it starts to act up even more. After fifteen minutes it freezes and I have to reboot. After the third time it happens I realize that this is going to be the new routine. Arrrrrrrgh! I begin to save every minute knowing that it would freeze at any moment. I begin to write my emails in word so that at least when it freezes the auto recovery would pick it up instead of it disappearing into oblivion. I have had to adjust to the new way of using the laptop. I am managing pretty well with the new routine but my thoughts are not so much on me but on what will happen when it freezes in front of a client during a presentation. And lo and behold it does! Right in the middle of my presentation, so I have to stop and talk some more before I acknowledge that it has frozen and that I have to reboot it. I think to myself, what next? Well, I reboot and we continue. And all the while I am just praying that 15 minutes drag, as I prepare for the next freeze. Since I was facilitating the session, I decide to continue the session using the flipchart, that way I don’t have to worry about the laptop freezing. Phew! That was on Friday and I worked with the laptop rebooting routine till I began rebooting every 10 minutes no longer waiting for the 15 minute freeze point. Still in a dilemma of whether or not to bear it for 1 month before I travel, I begin to hit the laptop hoping that it’s a hardware problem and that the hitting will somehow hit something back into place. My dear when you are desperate you will try anything.

Then on Sunday, something weird happens. I have Windows updates that are waiting to be installed. The icon is glaring at me on the toolbar at the right hand corner of the screen. For what it’s worth I click on it and it begins to install updates. When it completes the installation, I reboot. When it reboots, something interesting comes up. A strange icon appears on the right hand corner, I click on it and it is called ‘Malicious Software’ I read the description and it says it identifies and removes malicious software. I run the program and voila! It finds a huge number of funny programs and deletes one which it identifies as a ‘worm’ that affects the performance of a system. I complete the process and I reboot. I don’t know what happened after that but the laptop hasn’t frozen in 24 hours. Can someone say ‘Praise God?’ that’s why I said this post is about the small things because it may seem pretty small but to me I saw the hand of God in it. The timing was perfect and I have not seen the ‘Malicious Software’ icon since then. I have searched for it in the programs list and I can’t find it either. Now I don’t know where this little angel went but it has sorted out my laptop issues. And I am thanking God for the little things.

Lord I thank you for the little things and trust you even more for the big things. Thank you Lord!

Did I Say a Break???

Did I say I was taking a break off work??? Let me rephrase. It’s been almost 6 weeks since I left my job and I can say the break lasted all but 2 weeks. For the past month I have been swamped with work! I have worked much more than I had in the first quarter of this year, the only difference being that the work happens in my bedroom and the working hours are till 4 am in the morning. The work hours are crazy but I don’t really have to get up early except on very few occasions when I have meetings with clients. I am officially free lancing now. Right now I have 3 clients and a few more prospects. What happened?

I guess two things. When people know that you work for yourself and not just doing it on the side, they begin to take you seriously and seek you out for professional engagements. Secondly, I guess I couldn’t resist the opportunity of earning a pay check. I really like what I do and I am pretty good at it. I design and develop systems that help businesses achieve results through their people. When I tell people I am a HR consultant, why do they automatically think I do recruitment??? That’s a tiny bit of the iceberg. In actual fact I would only do recruitment when there aren’t other things to do. I find it time consuming as well as tedious and the cycle time for payment leaves a lot to be desired.

Anyway, I just saw an offline message from my ex boyfriend. He was reading Chimamanda Adichie’s new book and says he thinks I should write a book because in his own words ‘I feel you can write just as well if not better’. Gosh, I feel bad every time someone reminds me of this writing gift that I have refused to use. Where is the time amidst other demanding gifts and priorities? Someone tell me where is the time? Maybe I should hire a coach to work with me as I don’t know how I am going to manage writing a book and doing my PhD, juggling my career and a family on top. I need another 5 year plan as I really need to put things into perspective. Anyway, I promised myself I am not going to be worrying about the future but rather just take it one day at a time. Life is way too short. I have to keep reminding myself of that truth.

It’s been quite an epiphany these past few weeks. A lot has been happening on all fronts. For a start, it’s Monday morning and I am in bed. The beginning of last week was pretty hectic work wise but this week looks quiet. Although conscious of it, I have not felt the financial pinch and I pray by His grace that I will not. I plan to be on holiday in the next month so I am exploring frugal means of spending my holiday, knowing that I shall receive no pay cheque for the month I am away. But I have learnt a lot in life and more recently I am convinced that God has an unpredictable way of doing things. I am really not worried about my finances, God has been faithful and has embarrassed me with His goodness several times when I attempted to worry, so I trust whole heartedly in Him, believing that He will sort me out.

Since I left work I have had about 4 interviews, none of which I am pretty keen. I am enjoying the flexibility of working from home although I must admit it is a lot of work but its fulfilling working on your own terms. The thought has crossed my mind on whether or not I will be going back to work soon. I didn’t think I will have this dilemma so soon. What are the options really? I guess it’s whether or not I want to begin the process of growing a small business. Now it’s strange that I enjoy being self employed but the thought of running and growing a firm is not appealing to me. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know why. On the other hand, I also do not see myself, point of correction, I do not desire to be an MD of a firm but what I do desire and see myself in is being in a position of influence and authority, where my work touches the lives of many people in a very positive way. How can I achieve this? Government appeals to me but anyone that knows me knows that I am no politician. I say what is on the tip of my tongue and wear my heart on my sleeve. My moods are so visible they have eyes and cut deep. Now what I won’t mind is if I am made minister of education or communication or labor. Something that will let me sort out an issue or concern that can positively improve the lives of the people in the country. I don’t know why I just have this feeling or desire to want to be in government or some regulatory body. Corporate world, although an area I have done reasonably well in, somehow does not appeal to me in the long term.

Finally, the thought of a family is becoming appealing to me. For the first time ever, I can comfortably see where a family fits into my plans. It sounds sad right but we thank God, better late than never. Ok I am thinking that when the family finally begins, I would take a few years off to pursue my PhD. But is it realistic? I have never seen myself as someone who can juggle family and work, my stress threshold is not high. But family and a distance learning program seems more manageable. The problem with all these plans is that they require finances and thus the reason why people end up continuing with full time jobs. Hmmm so what do I do? Anyway I said I won’t worry about finances, that’s God’s job.

Baba God, I continue to trust in you for my strength, wisdom and discernment. Love you Lord!

Wolverine, My Love...

The thought of watching 'Wolverine' got me really excited. I remembered vividly how much I enjoyed X-Men 3 a few years ago. It was Busola and I and we sat at the very first row of the cinema hall because it was packed full with people. I think it was the premier night at silver bird, Lagos. The special effects and the special powers displayed by the mutants in x-men have always been applaud worthy. I just remember a crowd full of people, giving commentary and applauding all through the special effects, action-packed filled scenes. It was definitely the best movie I had seen that year. This time it was Ifeoma who invited me to see the movie, it was a planned all girls outing and I thought it would be a great way to spend the May day holiday.

The great thing about my love for X-Men is that I never read any of the comics. My brother used to collect them but I always found the characters so mutant looking that I figured it would have nothing intriguing to offer. So for me, I have no expectations on what should happen or how things ought to be based on the comic.

Wolverine, a man after my own heart. In this movie sub titled 'X-Men Origins', we are taken back where I believe it all began, however the focus is on Wolverine’s life. We are shown the beginning of his mutation and his discovery of who his real father is in what appears to be a fight between his mother and her drunken lover.

The highlight of the movie is when Lagos, Nigeria is chosen as a location for a secret operation. The crowd in the cinema applauded. Lagosians so proud to be featured in a Hollywood blockbuster. I guess I was unaware of the script because I really got more than I bargained for. We are shown how Wolverine's mutation came to manifest. He has the mutation of a wolf; its strength, speed, claws but there is just one thing that shouldn’t be; his heart. For a man with a wolf-like mutation, he does not have a heart to match. At several points in the movie we see him make some emotional decisions. He lacks killer instincts. His heart is larger than life.

It’s amazing how two people from the same family can go through the same experiences yet react to it differently. I guess it’s the same way you have children raised by an abusive parent and one child turns out exactly if not worse than the abusive parent and the other child is the complete opposite. We see this happen with Wolverine and his brother who both go through the same traumatized path but one brother reacts like the world owes him blood. He thirsts for it and from the beginning to end he seems to be on a killing spree while our man Wolverine wants none of it and goes into hiding to rid himself of the gruesome memories of a sordid past.

It makes me realize how different people are. How circumstances and interpretations of our environment can affect our reactions to our environment. Taking examples from my own experience, I have seen how I have interpreted the environments I have worked in and how much it affected the personality I adopted in each environment. I have worked in two environments where I was considered introvert to the surprise of those who know me well. In retrospect I know that my behavior was pretty much governed by my interpretation of both environments which I registered as hostile in my mind. And based on my personality type rather than fight for relevance, I retreated into a shell that I came out of only when I was out into what I deemed a friendlier environment. Now I have done a bit of research and work on understanding behavior particularly as it relates to the work environment. I consider myself an extrovert with introvert instincts. Now let me explain. I am extrovert because I consider myself social. I enjoy good company and good conversation. My idea of fun has people in it. Now I have introvert instincts, what do I mean? In as much as I love good company, I enjoy my own company. I spend a lot of time with myself, reading, writing and doing things alone. In fact sometimes my desire to be on my own is so strong that I would deliberately avoid all opportunities of social interaction when I am experiencing my alone moments. I guess we all are a bit like that sometimes?

Another interesting thing is the romance in the story, not your typical happy ending, as what seemed like pure bliss ended as deceit and betrayal. However, I wonder, must there be romance in almost every story line. It seems there must be some sort of it in one form or the other. I must have underrated the role of romance in life. Man, woman, love, chemistry, biology , tee hee hee.

Writer’s block! Let’s end on this note ‘may we all find love of a far more lasting kind’