A New Dawn...

The last couple of weeks have been weird. I have had to make some bold decisions which could possibly change the course of my life.

Do I make decisions quickly? From past experience no! But once they are made they are final.

Do I listen to counsel yes, but the final decision lies with me.

Last week, I resigned from my job for reasons best known to me. Needless to say, I have been dying to take some time off work for the past year and half or so! I had the same opportunity 8 months ago but I delved into another job and I guess in the end circumstance played in a way that made me revisit the same issues again.

I have a problem with separating work from life, I don’t know how to. Work for me is a vocation, I spend most of my time there so for me, it had better be purpose driven. I couldn't deal with anything less. I work with my heart and soul. Without a doubt, I am very emotional about my work. I f I believe in a cause, I will be the most passionate advocate, if I don’t believe in it, I am out! Middle ground at work is something I am still deciding whether I want to learn or not. I wear my heart on my sleeve, if I am happy it’s obvious and everyone knows , if I am unhappy, the same thing, everyone knows. It has its strengths and its limitations but that’s just me! I kind of like my person. Actually, If I were someone else I would like me:-)

So what next? I am taking a break off work. I just want to slow down and recharge my batteries for a new phase in my life. The exciting thing is I am not certain what it is. When I tell people I don’t really know what next they look perplexed and worried but I am not. I really just want to take things easy for now. I am working on some independent projects, some for profit and some for passion. I am also interviewing and have also started a business. I am exploring my options. I do not intend to go back to any kind of structured work before July, so till then, I will be exploring my options.

For the first time in a long time I feel unburdened and free. It’s beyond a regular holiday because there is really no end date for now. I have been sleeping terribly late and rising terribly late too. I am trying hard to keep up with the exercise routine I started 6 weeks ago and I am not doing badly. I am eating less than I would do normally because when I don’t see food I don’t really go looking for it. Being confined to the 4 corners of my room is not helping that aspect.

I need to embark on a literature review required for my application for a doctorate program. This time will allow me wrap it up. I also have professional exams to study for and now I have all the time but lack the motivation to do so.

This is also a perfect time for me to fall in love and nurture a loving relationship. I have no other major distraction. I like work too much and it keeps my mind buzzing 24hrs a day, now my mind is free-er, I can focus more time on that aspect of my life and give and get the loving I deserve.

I can sit with my family and sort out any troubled relationships. I can write if the spirit moves me and I can pray incessantly for the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to guide my plans (no plans) while ordering my footsteps and guiding my decision making.

I feel something great happening to me and I just want to prophesy it before it happens. The last 2 years have been the toughest 2 in my life but that season is over. It’s a new dawn and I want to relish in it…

I love you Lord…teach me to love you more.