Business O!

I was in shock to go to my blogger page and see when it was last updated. The truth is who did I expect to update it? My life seems to be at a very one rack stage, I wonder more and more if I am really doing the right thing. Surely there must be more to life than it currently presents. I am a believer to a large extent that your life is what you make it. Hence apart from God, you are next it what dictates your life. Some people would argue that one even has more control of life happenings. What I don't want in my life is any regrets. I try not to have any in life but I really want to feel that I did make the best of it. This year business grew in terms of the kind of projects we would typically handle. So we hired a project team and tried our best to deliver despite the constraints involved. it took the first half of the year. I never remembered working so hard. Every time I think i have clocked it until something harder comes my way. So we made some money but it took almost 7 months in the year. It as also a government contract so you guessed that they are still owing us half of the payment due so it terms of profit I cannot say that it was profitable but yes we grew, I grew. I am usually very frugal with money so I live a considerable modest life. I try my best not to be wasteful or spend money on what I consider as frivolities. One of the major investment we had to make this year was renting an office space. This became necessary for the project team we had to accommodate at the beginning of the year. In July we moved to an even bigger space with a training room to accommodate our training programmes. My thinking was that it wold save us a lot of money renting training venues and also allow us run more training programmes since we did not have to worry about overheads in the sense that the rent had already been paid meaning that break even point for each programme was technically reduced. It also allowed us rent out the training and conference room to other organisations. A lot of money went into renting and furnishing the place but I believe it was time to scale. I am not a pessimist but a realist, I know a lot of effort has been put into this but I am hopeful or bigger and better things to come. Honestly, running a business is very tasking mentally and emotionally. Some days I wish I could google the problem and a solution will appear immediately. so much to do and yet I am only one person so I can only do so much. I know I need help but getting the right people for a start up is ten times harder because you actually need experienced people but can afford to pay peanuts so the probability of getting monkeys re very high and i have hired my fair share of them. I am trying to hire 2 people to add to the other 2 because the other 2 are unskilled, one is the office assistant and the other has been with with us for over year but has not been but shows high levels of being distracted with poor planning and organisation skills. I had to disengage the most senior because I could not see the value she was adding to the business. For a small business everyone is so critical, the business could die from a little slack or costly mistakes. I need help, I know I do I just pray tat God will continue to guide me as always. so much to say so little time...

New Year's Eve 2010

New Years Eve

I really am thankful for 2010. An interesting year in my life. As usual god embarrassed me with His love and showed me that He truly takes care of His own, a true shepherd.

2010, a year I did not lack as the Lord was indeed my shepherd and I wanted not. I can only lift my voice in prayer.

The biggest surprise I guess is that I got married. I still don’t believe I did and I think it will take me a while to come to terms with. It really took me by surprise if I could predict it I wouldn’t have guess myself. It’s like going 360 degrees twice. One day I was single and the next thing it was like an unstoppable train.

I am not happy to be married. I am overjoyed and over whelmed because of who I married. Marriage in itself as an institution didn’t appeal to me but I prayed for a life partner and God answered. He answered when I least expected. When I was lukewarm and indifferent about relationships. I am so grateful because it is better than I ever imagined. I married my friend. I didn’t think I’d feel this way but I can’t have married anyone else. He is the kindest, most rational and caring man I know. I cannot believe how blessed I am.

God answers prayer. He may not answer you when you want your answer but He will and the best answer is gotten when you have learned a few things. There’s really no short cut. He is the only way and the best and most fulfilling way. What God gives you no human being can ever give you. If you can imagine it, then it’s not from God. Stick with him and be surprised and of course embarrassed at his favour.

Ps: I must write more articles in 2011. Gosh I cannot believe how little I wrote in 2010. Too much was happening in my life but that should be settled now.

500 Days of Summer

Today I have to write, I just took off the bunch of bangles on my left wrist and the wrist watch on my right wrist. I must write today. It’s been too long.

I watched an interesting movie on the plane going to London at Christmas. I find the plane experiences my chance to catch up on what Hollywood had to offer for the year. It was titled ‘500 days of Summer’.

The wonderful thing about art is that the interpretation is in the hands of the beholder. Whatever message the movie set out to achieve, I obviously will interpret it based on my own understanding and my own unique experiences. The title in itself was a pun. It was a love story\romantic comedy. Actually it is not a love story it is a story about love. The lead character Tom falls in love with a rather eccentric female named Summer, now you see why I say the title itself was a pun. So the 500 days I believe depicted the length of the relationship with Summer. It’s an interesting story for several reasons. The first being that the guy is madly, deeply and truly in love with this girl whom he has tagged as ‘the one’. Our girl on the other hand says she doesn’t believe in love and doesn’t want a boyfriend. She’s quite happy to be ‘just friends’ but they end up more than friends. We watch the relationship develop, Tom falls deeper in love and Summer is pretty lukewarm till she dumps him when he seems to be at his most vulnerable. There are so many perspectives to this movie and I believe you don’t necessarily have to resonate with Tom or Summer but appreciate the perspectives of each character. Tom writes for a Greeting card company. His real passion is to be an architect which he studied but somehow hasn’t the zeal or determination to pursue his dreams. In some scenes Summer is almost questioning what she seems to interpret as Tom’s inertia towards achieving his heart’s desires.

Another interesting thing about the relationship is that they are colleagues at work. Office romance. When Summer dumps Tom it’s unbearable to go to work. A clear repercussion for many office romance relationships. They don’t work and I’ll leave the explanation for another day.

Tom never really moves on as he remains heartbroken for months after the break-up. He bumps into Summer at a wedding and they dance. She invites him for a party at her house the following week. His heart is lifted for a moment when he sees her at the party only to be dashed again when he notices she is wearing an engagement ring. He walks out taking solace in alcohol and junk food. He cannot make head or tail of what has happened but I find the whole thing amusing and spot on.

A few months later, sitting in his favourite spot in the city. Summer joins him and they talk. Now married, she tries to explain to him what I don’t think he quite understood- that he was not ‘the one’. She explains that when she met her husband she finally understood what Tom had tried to describe to her about true love and knowing when you meet ‘the one’. She clarifies that when she met her husband she knew he was the one;-). How ironic but such is life. I mean she was the one for Tom but Tom was not the one for her. I guess that sums it up. Unrequited love. I guess real love is when you are both the one for each other? I wish it was that simple.

My interpretation; no matter how much we love someone if the feeling is not mutual it simply is an exercise in futility. What struck me most was that Tom was so convinced she was ‘the one’ and she was so convinced otherwise. Love sometimes makes a fool of us. I mean how can you love someone so much and rationalise that it is ok to receive nothing in return. In my belief that kind of love is not the type lovers share. When you are ‘in love’ you should receive love in return. I mean Summer made it clear she didn’t want a boyfriend and Tom was willing to sacrifice his own needs just to suit someone who didn’t love him. He accepted her terms in words but in his heart he wanted so much for her to be his girlfriend that he stuck around even when her terms clearly did not meet his emotional demands. He made excuses on her behalf, disillusioning himself that even though Summer did not want anything serious she was still his girlfriend because they did what people in relationships did. His hopes were on the premise that she would come around eventually and realise she loved him. How sad how sometimes we deceive ourselves into the most awkward situations.

Love is and will always remain a verb. It is action and not thoughts or mere words. Reminds me of an interesting quote I heard from a dear friend Yemisi, ‘never marry a stone or you may have to carry it for the rest of your life’. The first day I heard her say it, I thought to myself so why would anyone ever even date a stone let alone marry one. Then I remembered my moment of madness actually 2 moments of madness when I did date stones. The stone represents the cold and the unemotional. Carrying it represents the heaviness and burdens for the heart that follow. Why settle? That’s why it is very important to first know and understand yourself. Only then can you get the kind of love you deserve.

The best outcome in the movie is what the heartbreak and pain does for Tom’s career. Remember I mentioned I felt Summer’s discomfort with Tom’s inertia in pursuing his dream career as an architect. In his misery, after finding out about Summer’s engagement he quits his job and finally heeds to Summer’s advice to pursue his dreams. There was a bit of me that felt that was what Summer felt was missing in this man. As a woman, I could resonate with the insecurity that perhaps this man will not have the will or guts to go for what he truly desires. There were questions that needed answers. The kind of questions a sensible woman would ask if a man had to be taken seriously. Will he be able to live up to his responsibilities and expectations if he can’t even sort out his personal life?

I also got this feeling that perhaps if he had met Summer at a time in his life where he had dealt with his own fears, things may have turned out different. The gusto may have appealed to Summer, rather than the Tom that appeared the be the somewhat over emotional, fearful, insecure man.

I know we cannot predict anything for sure but I cannot help analysing. After I saw this movie, it really resonated with me in so many ways. I believe I have been on both sides. Either side is a burden. I have found it frustrating to be ‘the one’ to someone I clearly don’t share the same feelings for. It’s even more frustrating when you are hopeful someone is ‘the one’ and their actions not words prove their feelings for you are nothing compared to yours.

May we all find love, of the mutually benefiting kind.

No way!

I cannot believe that I have not posted anything since February. I have so much to say maybe I have just been saying it in my head.

God has been good and faithful. Business is blessed beyond measure and life has been filled with wonders and goodness.


Anyway, it is well.
where do I begin? Business, Love or Life?

Stay tuned! I'll be back!

Another Year...

Where do I begin… so much to say too little time. I will begin where I think I left off.

In December I saw divine favour and the glory of God made manifest. God continues to embarrass me with his mercy and grace.

When the work did not come to me I had to find it. In November I decided to organise a training program for 2 reasons; it is something I can do and secondly revenue assurance for December. I figured that training programs required direct marketing efforts because of the fee charged thus I would need to market to heads of departments and MDs to approve spending on employees. That would take a while to market and a lot of effort persuading senior executives to invest in their employees. I had planned to do a seminar in the course of the year so I changed the initial plan a little to accommodate that plan. I figured that an inexpensive seminar targeted at individuals would be cheaper and quicker to market and conclude. If I set a price that people didn’t have to think too much about, keep my costs low, I might be able to achieve my goal and earn a little income. What started as an idea on paper became a harsh reality the minute I sent out the first set of emails announcing the seminar.

The experience was one I will always remember. Emotionally draining yet highly exhilarating. Anxiety and tears of joy. I jumped for joy when I received email notifications of the first 2 payments then I cried because I was overwhelmed that I could send out emails on a seminar planned from my bedroom and people would PAY to attend. It was an honour. The days and weeks after were amazing and encouraging, the numbers went up steadily, and even my dad would call everyday for an update on the numbers. The final number was 75 participants; I can only give God all the praise and glory because what happened was not fathomable in my mind’s eye. That it was a success is still a dream and that the goodwill and support from special individuals I still find amazing. Help comes in mysterious forms from unexpected and surprising people and circumstances. I experienced kindness and support from unlikely folk. Again I say thank you, you know who you are.


Then I went on holiday. The coldest and whitest Christmas I have ever experienced. I travelled with my dad, it just so happened that our dates coincided. When we got to London it was freezing, we both had a few days in London before we were off to Maryland to spend Christmas. It was an unusual experience, as this was the first time in a very long while that 6 of the 7 members of my immediate family would spend Christmas together. It is a Christmas I will remember for many reasons but most especially that it was freezing and that there were 3 children present and I can’t remember spending that much time with small children so it was something new. Maryland was colder and windier and the snow was deep, approximately 16 inches deep before we arrived on Christmas Eve. Once it was over it was back to the UK and then back to the grind stone.

January, another interesting experience. It was time to organise the actual training program that the seminar ought to have publicised. As expected because of the price of the program it was not going to be one that individuals would be likely to sponsor themselves, hence the marketing efforts this time were different and required targeted and direct efforts. Something I am not used to doing. It was so much easier just sending out bulk messages from my laptop, this required relationship management and much more. I had to follow up mails with phone calls but still where help came from was the most unusual places. In the end we had 7 bookings, 2 of which were from the seminar. We had 1 last minute cancellation which was really more of a carry over to the next available month. So I am pleased to say I have 1 booking for the February class.

It’s not been easy, revenue's unpredictable because things don’t always happen as planned. Costs are more predictable although based on the environment there are unforeseen circumstances but so far they have not been as volatile as revenue.

Everyday is still exciting. I never know who’s going to call and for what purpose. Leads come in from different sources, like I said before, the most unlikely places. So I am expectant.

February is my birth month, a year older and wiser. 2009 was good because it ended well. I found love of a far more lasting kind. So for 2010 I am full of grand expectations. Jesus remains Lord and I am truly, deeply and madly happy. And I am looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.

Home Coming

When people tell me they want to move back to Nigeria, I respond with the question, why? Sometimes I get a puzzling reply bordering around the fact that Nigeria is after all home, like it or not! Other times I get a response on how much better things appear to be in Nigeria and how so and so came back a few years ago and is earning a fat salary and living the vida loca. I listen while they rant and go on and on and once they are done, my reply is the same. ‘Don’t come back if you have nothing to offer Nigeria, we have enough people in Nigeria who are just here for the taking, we don’t need anymore’.

Now I don’t mean to sound like a patriot but I have a deep rooted feeling and ambition that I am here for a purpose. Yes, I was in the UK for over a decade, schooled there, lived there and at one point was quoted to have said I couldn’t imagine living in Nigeria.

It’s been 7 years back in Nigeria and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. My return to Nigeria was the beginning of many changes in my life. With my return I decided I would only ever work in a field I enjoyed. I took stock of myself and made decision to work with my strengths for a change. This meant no longer being stuck in some dead end profession just for the money. I developed a new philosophy around the premise of leveraging on my innate ability rather than my learned skills. I took myself back to a time where I was well known for talking and writing, the tender age of 7. My friends had told me I was good at advising and so with that extra bit of information I had my top three innate skills; Talking, Writing and Advising. The career finding exercise paid off. My first job in Nigeria was in Consulting. A profession that never ever crossed my thoughts when I was in the UK making the most of my IT career with Nokia UK designing software for mobile phones. A place I cherished for the exposure it gave me to world class systems but a job more mundane than a picking and packing job in a factory.

To return back to Nigeria, is not an easy option by any means because the situation is not as blissful as may be painted. Coming to Nigeria on holiday is no where near the same as coming back for good. It is easier to cope with black outs when you are on holiday but when you are here for good you don’t just cope, it also bites right deep into your pocket all through the year. More than anything else, I detest the traffic, the pot holes, the insecurity and the terrible driving habits so much so that I have developed a driving phobia. I tell anyone who would listen that you must be sick of your present state abroad to come back here otherwise that decision to return will never be made. There must be a trigger and you must have reached the end of your tether. There must be a deeper than superficial reason to come back here because on the surface it appears to be a crazy decision. When people tell me 101 reasons why they can’t come back yet I tell them not to worry because they aren’t quite there yet. When you are there you will know it.

Coming back to Nigeria for me marked my ‘coming of self’, A time when I came full circle in deciding what career path to follow. Nigeria represented the atmosphere for me to be me. My first job here was the most exciting of my whole life. Sunday blues, a feeling that lingered throughout my career in the UK became a thing of the past. As a young consultant I looked forward to going to work every morning. The people I worked with were like me, they spoke like me, behaved like me and understood my being. We joked at work, faffed around sometimes and even when we worked crazy hours on those crazy projects with manic deadlines we still loved what we did.

It’s different for everyone I guess but for me coming home brought out the best of my career. Career for me is not a job but an assignment strongly linked to my mission in life. Career for me is the God given gifts and talents I have naturally made beautiful by the skills I have acquired over the years. So understand why my decision to return to Nigeria is one I am grateful I made.

To my brothers and sisters that want out of Nigeria I say to them by all means go. It is a good thing for one to be exposed to the ways of the rest of the world. There are so many things I learned in the UK. In fact my UK experience has been an added advantage to a lot of career moves I have made. I encourage exposure with a plan. I say with a plan because it is easy for one to forget the plan and get lost in learning the rudimentary skills required to thrive in a foreign culture. Also, it is not necessary to be in Nigeria to be part of the change; we have so many Nigerians in the Diaspora that are doing a better job of uplifting Nigeria than the multitude of Nigerians here.

Today, I still consult but I work for myself. I left corporate Nigeria to pursue my personal dreams and ambitions. I would love to be in government to influence policy formulation and execution. People think I am crazy when I say that but it’s just part of that desire to do something about the malady in this our country Nigeria.

There’s so much promise in Nigeria. Because there are so many issues there are an equal number of opportunities for people who love solving problems or puzzles which many times seem to be the Nigerian case. We need people on a mission here in Nigeria. People who want change and are willing to drive and be a part of the change process. People who see the big picture and the benefits associated with a better Nigeria. People who believe that the success story of Nigeria is not complete without them.

Man Proposes but God Disposes

The last few days have been somewhat low for me. I know I shouldn’t feel this way but I do although I know that things always happen for a reason.

This week was focussed on ensuring my application for the doctorate program was completed. I spent time writing a research proposal, getting my references and finalising all the requirements for the application.

Excited that all was finally ready, I sent it out by email, with every required document scanned and attached. I had dug out my old scanner and fixed it. I even scanned my signature for endorsement on the application form. The climax came when I pressed send. I saw a reply notification like 3 minutes after I sent the mail, so I decided to do other things as I figured it was just an acknowledgement email since it came so fast. When I finally got round to opening the message it read;

Dear Madam

I am afraid that due to exceptional demand, Aberdeen Business School have closed applications for DBA applicants for present. We can not confirm yet, when applicants will be able to reapply, but I am afraid that we cannot accept your application at present.

Research Degrees Office


Immediately a deep seated sadness overcame me. I wasn’t sure whether it was the right way to feel but somehow it wasn’t the response I was expecting. The response seemed so flippant and vague that I responded by asking them to give me specific timelines. I just felt I needed something more concrete as university admissions can be applied for future sessions, so I asked when the embargo would be lifted or whether it was an indefinite decision. The response I got was not positive. Again it appeared like they were neither here nor there. To be honest I was a little irritated that they weren’t able to give a more precise response. The final response which I received today read;

Dear Madam

I don't really think that there is much point in further discussions. ABS have stated that applications are currently closed and when they choose to re-open applications they will let us know. However, for the moment there is little point in applying if you don't know when your application will be considered by ABS.

Research Degrees Office

Hmmm, now I don’t even know how I feel anymore, quite disappointed and somewhat confused as to what to do next. I am wondering whether its not meant to be? The choice of school was really based on the fees. They are the only one I think I can mange to fund by myself the next available school charges double the fees and I really cannot afford that right now. Also the other schools have workshop that you must attend and I really need the flexibility of a distance learning program. The other school I applied to at the beginning of the year requested that I do a relevant masters first before embarking on their program. O gosh what do I do now? This just throws my plans off.

Hmmm, I do know things happen for a reason but I am still feeling down at this realisation. If ABS at least gave me a timeline of even next year I would at least know that delay is not denial. Anyway, Arrrrrrrrgh! God please help!!!